Outdoors Experience For Gay Men

Young people growing up face many pressures in life, and struggle through times of questioning themselves in who they are as individuals and question their meaning in life. This is part of growing up, and a major pat of adolescence
Being a gay man in society is not always easy. Often gay males may not be as acceptable in society as being gay women. The stereotypical images of “being a man” are often duplicated as being big, strong, masculine, macho, overbearing with no or little emotion, playing sports, driving big trucks. These are simply images of what society has called “the norm” for a man. Men are however not all like this. They come in all shapes; colors, backgrounds and some have different sexual orientations. To some people in society, being of a different sexual orientation than others is considered to be wrong and is often times not easy for some people to come to terms with. Identity is not a choice; it is something you are born with. Acceptance of ones identity takes time for everyone and for some it can take a whole lifetime.
It takes some men down to paths that are hard to get out from. Low self esteem, body image, isolation, personal safety are just some examples of what gay men go through. These are un-healthy feelings. From research and experience, the outdoor setting is the ultimate healer and it shows people how to empower themselves back into a more positive focused way of life. Bringing this population into the outdoor setting is a form of therapy that I believe to be highly effective. The outdoor setting provides a place for self-enrichment and personal growth. People come out stronger mentally, physically and emotionally than they did before they came in.
For a younger gay man which age could be as early as thirteen years old, coming out is a process of understanding and valuing ones identity. Coming out indicates exploring ones identity and bringing it to their own attention, and eventually sharing that identity with others
The full comings out process for younger men can be extremely personal experience within ones self. The coming out process can happen in many ways and many people have very different experiences with it. Many men are aware of their sexual identity at a very early age, and have been keeping a secret to themselves for a good amount of time. It is also known that in the early stages of adolescence, attitudes about homosexuality are not ok, and society is not is favor of it. Many social stigmas create this image of negativity towards gay men. Examples of what a younger man may hear from either his peers or family could be: “ god created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” “All gay people have AIDS “ “Gay people are never happy and they are sick” “gay people are child molesters” “ gay people don’t end up having happy families” “gay people are Satan’s disease” The list of stigmatized images can go on and on and it is hard to hear the good and positive things. The whole coming out process can take time and patience, and hearing things like this will take time to process and overcome.
”While stress and social pressures can already be a problem for some men at early ages such as in middle school and high school, the problems facing especially younger gay men are often more difficult than the ones that their heterosexual peers may face. There are often not as many or no positive role models for young gay men to follow. This feeling of being alone is the feeling of isolation and low self-esteem. “The social and emotional isolation experienced by younger gay men is a unique stressor that increases vulnerability and risk for a range of health and mental health problems.”-futterman) It can make the coming process more difficult because there is always the fear of rejection from their outside world.
Coming out to the ones’s self is one of the hardest stages in development for maintaining a healthy positive image for gay men. There involves a great deal of soul searching and finding out who they really are. This is why it is important for them to have a good healthy self-appreciation and self-acceptance, without it the self-image cannot grow healthy. It is often the case that many people on the outside can see a healthy image of the person, but inside the person does not feel that way. There is often a hidden wall between themselves and the others around them.
Recognizing ones sexual identity and working towards self-acceptance are the first steps the younger man must go through. When a man goes through this process often times he has seen glimpses of what gay culture and the stigma has behind it. It is only going help the man in this process by blocking out all of the negative ways of describing gay people and finding the good. Examples of what positive images of gay culture may be are music, relationships, dance, art, community, groups, the list can go on and finding the positive is what going to help rather than filling the mind with negative images that the person may of heard from other people in society.
When the individual feels that the time may be right to come out, they may often consider the positive outcomes of what may happen. Possibilities of increased self-esteem do occur due to released identity and there is a better sense of ones true honesty in life and this allows one to move on with greater personal integrity. This follows with the sense that there is a reduction of tension and anxiety when one stops trying to hide themselves and their identity. Coming out can also direct the person toward a greater sense of personal and social freedom and self-expression. It can also lead to having overall a more positive image of self and can allow the person to create more healthy relationships. For some men the coming out process can be a different path. Coming out may not be easy and people may not understand, therefore it can take time.
Coming out to family members can be a challenge for some. Each family is different, and most parents’ reactions are done in their own way when they have just found their sons newly disclosured identity. There are usually stages of understanding that can describe the process by which many families go through. This begins from the disclosure to their final acceptance with their child. Some parents this process can take a week, months and for some, years to find their acceptance.
Common stages from the parents reactions are: denial, shock, guilt, expressing true feelings, making decisions, and eventually making their true acceptance to their son. Denial is the attempt to protect them from the information that they have just heard. They try to believe that their son is indeed not gay, or that their son is just going through a temporary phase. Shock comes from the fact that the information is new to them and at times can be unexpected. Guilt comes with the feeling that they think they raised their son the wrong way and that’s why they are gay. They feel they are to blame. Expressing true feelings, is when the parents are comfortable enough to start asking questions, such as “how long have you known” “are you sure this is who you are?” it can give the parents some form of relief and also can give them a chance to work through their emotions. Making decisions comes from when they question what may lie ahead of their Childs future. Throughout the family coming out process many family members come to some realization that this is what it is. Many parents reach this stage and do love their son, however for some parents there is still a point they cannot truly reach of acceptance. The love is there, but ultimately there is still more processing that will occur throughout the parent and child relationship.
From this point the younger man is now in his own way, on his own with himself. They have the options to go out and seek community and support and it is extremely important for them to find positive peers in a supportive environment. An example of what this community can look like is a gay support group or center. As an example, here in Prescott, there is a resource center called the Prescott pride center. Within the center they offer programs that help build community and create safe environments for younger people who have just experienced coming out. There is currently a program called Q2YOUTH . The mission of the program is” to inspire and empower gay, lesbian youth to realize their full potential, while providing a safe place for them to foster community” the center runs a social group for men and women from ages 15-20 and meets on a weekly basis. Activities include social activities, discussions, movies and other positive ways of connecting with each other. This is an example of how community is formed. From speaking with the head coordinator of the program, whose name preferred to remain disclosed, I gathered information on the group and centers effectives on building self-esteem and self-empowerment. She described how the effects of community and group support are extremely therapeutic. She described how most of the group members are coming from a more conservative family background where acceptance and support is not always available. Many of the members attend the group without some of their parents knowing of their attendance due to their own personal safety and comfort. This is why it is important to have safe places like this in smaller and more rural parts of the country.
When asking her about what it would be like to have some type of outdoor education activity, she said that this would be something new for them and very un-familiar, but it would enrich and help empower many of the members. When to referring to men in specific, she said that most of the younger men would greatly benefit from an outdoor experience because it would create a safe space for men to be without fear of negative judgment. From my conversation with her, she said that there would be a chance for me in the future to lead and facilitate some outdoor day trips. I will pursue this opportunity.
From my previous field experiences, I have seen what the major effects are from having the outdoor experience. There were times in my life where I needed self-esteem building, and deep personal growth. Being outside has really been what has helped me grow in many ways. I look at myself before I take off for a filed experience and then I look at myself afterwards and realize just how significant of a change I have endured.
I had improved my self-concept of who I was, and what I am capable of doing.
These are the feelings that I experienced and what I believe others can experience.
Therapeutic goals for this population would be taking people from a place of lower self-respect and self esteem. My goals would be to make people come out of this population feeling like they have achieved something significant and feel self empowered. Often being in the outdoor setting allows time and place for self-reflection that allows the person to realize their full human potential and greater appreciation of self. Unfortunately there are little or no programs that provide these opportunities. The gay population would greatly benefit from these outcomes of a therapeutic experience, and I hope to be a facilitator to help others gain the power that I know have achieved.

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